What are you looking at?
A man crawling on his belly?
Yes I am on my belly in the mud.
Yes I have fucked up most my life.
But above is hung a broken crown.
And I will not wear it,
No matter how sweet the siren sound.
No! damn you!
I don’t need reassurances of grace.
Don’t shine the light in my face.
I can’t see if you blind me.
And my fate hangs in the balance.
I’ll keep fucking up,
Keep crawling in the mud,
But I will not wear a twisted crown-
Some day I’ll find solid ground.
Collective Musings
I woke up insane, like
Spring was coursing in my veins and
Growing green things in my head to
Push out the musty, dusty, crusty
Thoughts of wintertime sadness
The wind is like a drug.
I sucked it into shriveled lungs
Felt it start whirling in my brain
Twirling things that had not been stirred
Since I had had tucked them away
Last summer in the heat and the heartbreak
My muscles hurt, right between my shoulder blades
From wielding a shovel like a war-spear
Against my enemy the gravel pile
It felt like wings trying to push through my skin
And with the empty blue bowl of sky calling
Calling, calling, calling me
Crying for me
I wished it were wings growing
No Mercy (In A Razor Blade)
I danced with Death that night.
I wasn’t gonna go, understand-
Just invited it in to be my plaything.
But I guess death played with me.
The razor was cold in my fingers.
It grew hot in my grasp.
But that was from the heat of my heart.
And the mad fever in my brain.
With slow strokes I laid my skin open.
For a moment, my art traded ink with blood.
The metal pen wrote a story in my arms.
I looked inside myself, and I was sick.
I carry scars now, livid gashes in my skin.
Contrasting with the muted pale and tan.
But I am better now, believe me.
I see the truth of things at last.
There is no freedom in that kind of pain.
No release in the pooling blood.
I can’t punish myself for the things I’ve done,
A sinner can’t be his own judge and jury.
There is no mercy on the razor blade.
It’s What I’ve Needed
I’ve been needing this for so long-
To be washed in the river, the water running over me.
But the realization that I’ll have to jump
Has glued my feet with fear to the shore.
The river will never change its course to flow to me.
I have to run for love to it’s banks-
Find my courage and hold my breath.
With eyes wide open I’ll take the leap.
I Am Become Death
I am become death
Winter’s chill sucked
The breath from my lungs
And filled my gasping lungs
With burning cold
I bring worlds to the edge of oblivion
But the rings of fire hold them back
I walk with the quick
A dead one
They don’t catch on
Don’t want to see
The skull behind
My moving lips
And blinking eyes
You shall know my name!
How can you forget
The one you murdered so long ago?
I am risen again
No soul in my chest
No voice in my brain
Only the void of death
Where a heart should be
Cloaked in majesty
Armed in fear
I am the bogy in the closet
The monster under the bed
I am the faceless thing in the dark
The one that sits
At the foot of your bed
When your time has come
My Blood is My Ink
Blood is the ink that roars in my veins.
The wonder of a blank page
Shivers my soul with expectancy.
Oh! silence take me!
All these words that I speak-
Syllables of dust,
Utterances of rust-
Do not put words on the whiteness
Of the life I should be living.
So silence take me.
My pen must be the deeds I do,
In quiet moments when I’m the only witness.
My ink must be my sweat and tears
And the blood that I bleed
As I empty my flesh of me.
An offering to the Almighty.
Sunset
Someone turned the sea upside down,
And set it across the sky.
The sun rose backwards from the waves.
They’d lit the whitecaps all on fire.
Love to Hate Her Love
I am wrapped in her embrace
Her caresses sink into my ribs
She twines cold fingers with mine
And my fingertips all go numb
She runs along the skin of my arms
And my flesh freezes at the thrill
With all encompassing passion
She covers my face with kisses
My blood trembles and runs away
My face pinches and turns to ice
I turn away and shiver in my bones
The hair on my arms stand on end
Oh, how I love to hate it
The frozen love of Winter
So Close (Just Beyond the Veil)
I feel it sometimes. A
Startling reminder that
Death is always there. Waiting
For us to slip into its cold
And everlasting embrace.
Such a fine line we walk. With
Oblivion just beyond the
Veil that separates the eternal from
The mundane world we
Mortals walk with carefree steps.
That Day (The Wedding)
That day
It was cold and clear
The balcony upstair
Was our hideout
We waited for the beautiful
To happen
And I sat
Feeling in my veins
Vast and calm
Rich beyond reckoning
With the wealth of the intangible
wordsinsidemysoul 